It took me a while to wrap my head around the whirlwind of 2017.
It has been one of the greatest yet most difficult years of my life. A year that was all about surviving, heartbreak, betrayal, and resurrection. And not necessarily in that order.
A year where in order to survive certain situations I had to park certain emotions. That, of course, came back to me like a boomerang. So the end of the year was tough and all about feeling whatever it was I still needed to feel, and trust me it wasn’t a nice feeling at all.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that no matter how much I give of myself to another human being, getting back what I deserve is never ever guaranteed. And people will stab you in the back in order to make their way out of the hell that they have created for themselves.
I’m not a fireman and I can’t save anybody from a burning house no matter how bad I wish I could. It’s not my job nor my purpose.
I’ve learned that you can’t possibly trust anybody who doesn’t love themself. And still, the best way to find out you can really trust somebody is to trust somebody.
In the past 18 months, I’ve learned the things you “own” don’t matter at all, and actually can feel more like a burden than a blessing. So let that shit go.
I’ve learned to make friends out of strangers and I’ve seen friends turn into strangers while learning to accept that without any judgment. I’ve learned to be my own best friend and I’ve learned to dance with my demons.
I’ve learned the Gods have no mercy, so it’s good to have some mercy on yourself.
I’ve learned that what has been broken can always be healed with the right amount of courage. I’ve also discovered there is a rock bottom below rock bottom and I’ve learned that out of anything and anyone I can always count on myself the most.
I’ve learned to share more of myself, the broken parts included.
I came to the realization the Universe doesn’t punish you nor rewards you. It only responds to vibrations and in the end, it all comes down to the vibes you put out there. Because what goes around will most definitely come back around, one way or another.
As I’m already kicking off into the new year, I realize I can let certain things behind as well as take other things with me. I still have a long way to go, but I’m actually enjoying the way it goes, knowing I’m heading in the right direction.
I’ve learned to appreciate the sunrise as much as the sunset and I’ve learned to count my blessings every single day.
Days I’ve been spending at the coordinates of a place I always longed to be. Never ever in a million years would I have thought I would end up here the way I did. But if there is one thing, I’m grateful for every single thing that contributed to getting me here.
I will continue my journey while keeping my heart soft no matter how many times it has been hit hard.
I’m fighting to get back the courage to trust love the way I once did, and I know in my heart I will get there. As the sun rises and sets.