I hate to pretend to be someone that I am not some days.
I hate to pretend to be someone that doesn’t feel what I feel today.
To put on a mask and walk down that runway,
surrounded by fallen memories and broken dreams,
towards something that never seems
mine, or yours.
Or will last forever or even ever was.
Strike a pose and put on a mask.
Flashing lights like a hundred thousand questions.
“Don’t even ask.”
I hate to watch myself holding on to how it was instead of accepting how it is.
I hate the way I get lost in old memories, moments, images floating on every thought in my head.
It makes me lose so much time to build new ones.
I hate it,
but I can’t stand,
the way it hurts me,
so I pretend.